what to wear to...the "just friends" lunch with the ex-whomever

Sometimes, in the realm of romance, we are down-sized (aka: we break up). Then, at some point, there is the inevitable “just friends” lunch.

While we know that not every “friends” lunch is actually JUST A BOOTY CALL because one person is currently between hot dates, we can pretty much assume that someone is in need of some ego strokes. I mean, really, where better to get the much needed ego boost than from someone who has so little self regard that she will sit across the table from you and sip ice tea after her text messages were ignored for the past three months?

This lunch can often take on a great deal of meaning for at least one of the attendees (likely, the person who was dumped) and there is a ton of anxiety about what to wear.

Here are some helpful hints: First and foremost, do not look like you're trying or that you care. BEING OBVIOUS IS DEADLY. “Effortless” is your new mantra. With that in mind, bohemian style is a great go-to inspiration for moments like these.

For example, pair the winter white Haute Hippie-Hand Coiled Poncho with a slouchy pair of Thakoon-Twist Shorts. Carry a simple clutch like this Marc by Marc Jacobs birdie bag (Avoid wearing a bag that could tangle in the poncho fringe. The goal, you remember, is to appear carefree and EFFORTLESS). The bird is such a sweet touch and a reminder that you are now free as that little bird and much happier.

Add a great pair of platforms—with no less than 5-inch heels—and STAND UP STRAIGHT. Shown: Pelle Moda - Shantel Open Toe Platform Booties.

One last piece. The Bob charm, by Catherine Michiels, comes on a colorful silk ribbon and can be worn as necklace or bracelet. Bob symbolizes that life is short and the lotus on top of his head is a symbol that we are all just a work in progress and our mistakes are how we learn. Wrap it around your wrist and when your ex leans forward to take your hand, remember that YOU CHOOSE how you want to spend your time on this earth. Then, tell the wanker you’ve got to run. Ta-ta!

xo/j