What I am NOT WEARING TO COACHELLA.

Coachella. Coachella. Coachella. Everyone I know is going to Coachella. Well, I'm not.
I just don’t have it in me to suffer the endless crowds, the lines to the horizon for a turn in the biohzard toilets, and the parking nightmare. Until someone gets me a helicopter and an all-backstage pass, I am not going to Coachella.
This is what I'm NOT WEARING TO COACHELLA.
The Hunter wellies are great for not slogging through mud and the sequin Haute Hippie shorts are perfect for not shaking my ass to all the great music.
Since the weather will be...
[A] hotter than the surface of the sun during the day, I won't be donning a pair of Marni sunnies and I won't need my parasol to shield from the relentless UV's, and,
2. Sub-Zero freezing degrees in the PM, I won’t be layering the Alexander Wang Oil Slick cardi.
I am not a fan of inhuman climate fluctuations.
I won't be going to the first day/night and I won't be seeing Echo & the Bunnymen, Grace Jones [she's still alive?], Jay-Z [with the Mrs.?], Public Image Limited [dude, seriously?], The Specials, or Vampire Weekend.
Nope. Not gurna do it. But, you kids have a great time. And, post your pictures. I'll be watching from the couch.

Alexander Wang-Oil Slick Zip Cardigan, Preen Line-Tear tiered cotton tank, Haute Hippie-Jersey sequin mini shorts, Alexander Wang-Diego Bucket Bag in Camel, Hunter-Original tall Wellington boot, Marni-sunglasses