FAQ in the form of 25 + things about me

1. blogs are a hothouse for colossal, blooming narcissistic endeavors, like this list. anywho, here we go…

2. i have penis envy, in the original connotation (which is probably different than what most people think of), which means that i envy the physical power males have. i dream of being strong enough to punch someone’s lights out and to run faster than all the boys in my neighborhood. being able to pee while standing would be good, too.

3. despite #2, i really believe that GIRLS ARE THE MORE POWERFUL GENDER. if you don’t believe me, watch childbirth or a shoe sale at neimans. no boy could handle either one.

4. i have 5 or 6 tattoos—i’m not sure how to count them—in 4 languages. there will be more.

5. i’m afraid of heights, dragonflies, and cement mixers. i used to be afraid of needles but now i kinda like ‘em.

6. i’m in a gang. we are DG. that’s all i’m sayin.’ i won’t tell you what it means so don’t even ask.

7. i’m a motherfuckingpottymouth and i think that people who don’t swear are probably sexually repressed.

8. i won’t be shamed and if you attempt to manipulate me, it will backfire.

9. my ex-boyfriend is gay and i fully love and support him. be who you are—you only live once!

10. i believe that people who are anti-gay are defending against their own homosexual drive.

11. art owes no one and it is SACRED. it should be honest, uncensored, and provocative. ergo: i HATE wyland’s work (it’s NOT art—he’s just a fucking illustrator. seriously, c’mon!).

12. i like the word ergo…and other words: etiology, vapor, smite, malaria, etc. this week, my favorite word is equanimity.

13. i LOVE old people, babies/kids, and animals. i adore cats, dogs, and elephants.

14. in my work, i’ve seen many people die. i try to remember them all because they all mattered.

15. I LOVE to hide and then jump out, yell “RAHHH!!” to scare R. it works every time. sometimes i pee myself, i’m laughing so hard. 

16. i have 2 mothers.

17. when i had P, it was the moment i was sure that to protect her, i could kill someone.

18. i like P. if i were in high school, i would be friends with her.

19. i want to be in a high speed chase on southern cali freeways, driving a big, yellow school bus and shooting paintballs out the window.

20. poor grammar or misspelled words annoy the bloody hell out of me.

21. racism and bigotry are unacceptable. period.

22. i hate, hate, hate black licorice!

23. I LOVE shoes; they make my heart jump for joy. it’s the first thing i look at on males and females. they are the windows to the soul. style is crucial and it isn't determined by a price tag.

24. i’ve had the same bestie [dg*C] since 7th grade, which is when she tried to bogart my fruit juice. she can still make me laugh my ass off and we have code language that is indecipherable to others. she envies how tall i am. ;-) we made a bucket list and it’s pretty wicked. careful, there’s room for more.

25. mani’s and pedi’s, AT LEAST once a fortnight.  i never miss.

26. my favorite places on earth so far: library at trinity college in dublin, tea room at the musée d’orsay in paris, fairhaven cemetery in santa ana, most frank lloyd wright buildings, small, dark clubs and listening to punkrock or irish or punky-irish music.

27. i have a career that has nothing to do with fashion. it is separate from this blog, so i don't talk about it here.

28. i usually respond to rules by breaking them. i am oppositional at baseline. so, that was my 25—give or take—random things.