GUEST AUTHOR: Mrs D. loose ends, rants, and the right to taser baby talkers

Hellooooo dear readers! Mrs. Dalrymple here. Joey is quite busy with work [poor dear, she must work] and she asked me to fill in. She hasn't posted in a while and I blame the JPGaultier\Target collaboration. 

Oh. My. GOD! What a steaming pile of SHITE! 

I mean REALLY, darlings, do I have to elaborate? Every piece I picked up felt like it was recycled from a polyvinyl table cloth. ICK! If I want to find the cheapest clothes ever created, there are tons of shitty, strip mall stores one can visit.

I almost lost the will to shop...until the other day when I thought I'd hit Barney's to see what was new. There was a BABYVOICETALKER in the store and she seemed to be stalking me; BVT and her friend were within earshot for my entire Barney's experience [which lasted ten minutes thanks to BVT annoying the hell out of me]. I texted my attorney [aka DG*c*] to inquire about my rights as a citizen faced with a BVT. A LOUD BVT.

"May I SHOOT her?" I asked.
DG*c* texted back that I could not shoot a BVT.
What jury would convict me? I wondered. My defense team could just show a Paris Hilton video with AUDIO [PH is a notorious BVT]. 

"May I TASER her?" I ventured.
Apparently not.

"Can I PINCH her really hard and write the phone number for the nearest speech therapist on her with a black Sharpie?" We are still pondering the legality on that one. BVT's beware.

Ciao, darlings!
~ Mrs. D